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Do you have a Spiritual Maintenance Plan?

Written by beautifulbella10 on . Posted in Inspiration, Wellness.

Photo courtesy of Orion Robinson

Living Supreme is here to inspire and support women to love themselves, and I believe finding your own self-care routine that suits you is the key to keeping your spirit in check. I want to share the practices and rituals that keep my spirit in check. I was recently listening to a podcast on Super Soul Conversations with Oprah Winfrey and Iyanla Vanzant. Iylana spoke about having a spiritual maintenance plan. A plan you have set aside when life gives you everyday challenges or unexpected challenges beyond your control. I immediately thought….Shit, I need one of these myself.  

I try to follow this plan almost everyday, not just when I’m in crisis. This plan consist of: listening to an uplifting podcast, currently that is Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations, reading a quote that speaks to me (I have started keeping a journal of quotes that resonate with me and I go back later and read them),  I do my daily check-in on the Shine app (this is a paid service, I signed up when they had a really good deal). I like this app because it provides a 6-7min talk about the theme for the day and it provides a small meditation. It is a quick check-in and reflection to start the day and it helps keep me grounded throughout the day.  I also try to meditate at night before bed.

 In addition, you will find a list below of activities that feed my soul. To switch things up, I plan to post a video discussing some of these activities or me doing some in action. I think this will be a fun way to promote things that I do to stay living supreme. 

  • Read/Listen to books, and podcasts
  • Listen to music/attend concerts
  • Exercise ( The Bar Method, Zumba and Yoga)
  • Drink tea (I love trying new teas and get them from everywhere, but one of my favorite places is The Spice and Tea Exchange)
  • Hot baths or showers w/music of course
  • Cook
  • Travel
  • Use essential oil spritzers
  • Blog
  • Make skincare products & self-care packages
  • Mediate (I use the Insight Timer app for guided meditations)
  • I’m here for any type of spa like pampering (massages, manicures, pedicures etc..)
  • Hang out with my husband w/o the kids.
  • Spend time with my kids and family
  • Rejuvenate with mountain time
  • Get together with my friends. (sometimes I need to share space with my girls to feel grounded, revive my energy and let my hair down).

Please be on the look-out for my videos and if you need ideas on how to come up with your own spiritual maintenance plan feel free to reach out!! 

I See You 2020

Written by beautifulbella10 on . Posted in Best Life, Inspiration.

2020 is hear y’all and so I’m ready to take a bite out of this new decade and really dig into my goals, dreams and aspirations. As I sit back and reflect on this past year, I know one thing for sure; 2019 was about truly connecting with myself, re-connections and letting go of what no longer serves me. This year has taught me a lot about myself and I have learned some hard lessons, but I couldn’t be happier with where I stand today.  One of my biggest obstacles has been worrying too much about what others think of me. Unfortunately, this is something I have struggled with since I can remember. It is something I have tried for many years to overcome and no such luck, until this past year. I had been living in the dark with this issue and finally the light switch was turned on, and I realized, I can no longer live this way. For anyone else struggling with this, my word of advice is “people have already formed their opinions of you so nothing you say or do will make them like you more or less”. This realization was incredibly freeing for me and made me realize that I needed to put my energy into my aspirations and those people in my life who have loved me regardless. I now realize that spending time trying to force situations  or wonder why people do not except me is not any of my business. As I enter this new decade, I want to start living my life me and put to rest the negative conversations I have with myself on a daily basis. In 2019 my journey and path gained much clarity through; self-reflection, blogging, yoga, conversations with friends and family, taking breaks from social media, mediation and the continued internal struggle to trust the process. 

 With that said I’m going into 2020 with the following affirmation:

I no longer need hardcore proof to validate what my intuition tells me. If something feels off about a person/place/thing, it’s because something is off. I’m not sticking around to discover what it is. My time & my energy are way too valuable. -bossladiesmindset

Please leave a comment and tell what affirmations you are walking into 2020 with?

Re-writing your own Narrative takes guts thankfully, that is one thing I have.

Written by beautifulbella10 on . Posted in Best Life, Inspiration.

Myself and my little munchkins in Aspen, Colorado @ Sundeck Mountain

Since I graduated from grad school in 2014, I have wanted to start and maintain a blog. However, my first pass at this was not what I had envisioned for myself or my blog. So, I took some time away from writing or sharing and the past 6-8 months I have revamped and put more passion into this. What I’m realizing is, Living Supreme is my narrative, I get to tell my story unapologetically from my own point of view.  

Parallel thigh (barre exercise) in Grand Lake, Colorado

As an African American woman, I feel everyone takes it upon themselves to write our narratives for us. We are constantly put into a box that is full of stereotypes and derogatory ideals that I refused to be defined by going forward. For me Living Supreme is sharing and writing about my experiences, and journey about what it means for me to live a supreme life. Their might be times when I will discuss topics that are tough to talk about, but for the most part, I intend to share and spread positivity. Living Supreme is about; self-care, cooking, sports, family life, traveling, holidays, music, and reading all of the things and more that feed my soul. I’m here for things that are uplifting, empowering, positive and serve me well. I’m over being put in a box and allowing others to have a say in my narrative. This blog is my life in my words. 

It’s been confirmed …Mary J Blige is a Goddess.

Written by beautifulbella10 on . Posted in Best Life, Inspiration, Reviews.

Disclaimer: This concert took place back in August so this should have been posted sometime ago. However, I had to sit in my thoughts and feelings to truly process this experience. So excuse the timing of this blog post. 

Music is just one of my many life lines that keeps me sane. There are some artists whose music has become the soundtrack of my life and Mary J. Blige is one of those artists. So when my best friend asked if I wanted to go, I was thrilled to say the least. I was forever changed at this concert, and I’m beyond grateful I got to experience her concert with Nas, this summer at Fiddler’s Green. I had no idea I would break down and cry like a baby it was like all of my feelings flashed before my eyes and I decided to LET GO of the negativity that has been holding me back.  I have been living my life through societies narrative of me. Mary J Blige’s energy and music allowed me to be me for the night and going forward. The song: My Life is what brought about these feelings.  My body got heavy, I started dancing, my eyes filled with tears, and my body started to “feel” the music. It was as if I was being taken on a ride with the lyrics, the beat and the melody. I sat and marinated in all those feelings that this song brings about. In that moment I had become completely enthralled in the music and decided to have this moment of being entirely raw. Also, realizing I needed to “just be” if only for a minute or two. Mary spoke to me in a way she never has.  

As it has been stated many times before, Mary J is the soundtrack of our (women, black women especially) lives. For us Mary fans,  we have been ride or die with her since the beginning, “What’s the 411”. Her sound, music and stories have never become boring or old. We as fans just continue to connect and relate to her.  This experience was SO powerful, beautiful and uplifting for me.

The icing on the cake was experiencing this with some of my favorite people (bestie, hubby and close friend). As Crystal (bestie) stated: “It was so real and I’m glad I got to share that experience with my friends, I realized how much bullshit I have been through with people. Mary made me realize just how I grateful I am for the tried and true relationships and people”. I could not have said this better. 

Thank you, Mary J or being a fucking goddess and making music that has been just about every brown’s girls therapy, voice and helped us through this crazy thing called life. 

If you just can’t get enough of Mary, like myself…check out “This is Mary J. Blige”playlist on Spotify. 

The Power of Vision Boards

Written by beautifulbella10 on . Posted in Best Life, Inspiration.

About a year ago, my life coach asked me if I had ever made a vision board.  At the time, I had only heard of them along with the benefit of putting your goals, dreams and vision out there into the universe. Albeit I’m a firm believer in divine timing and the power of God, the universe and the moon and stars aligning. However,  I did not put much stock into creating a vision board. Hearing this again from my life coach, I knew, I had to sit down and make this happen. Little did I know that this small piece of creativity and honesty, would begin my journey to something much greater and essentially be a subconscious guide to help me accomplish a goal that I have had since graduating grad school in 2014.

Rewind to about a year and half ago,  I was struggling with my work situation at the time. There were things I enjoyed but sadly, more that I disliked. I was torn with what my next move should be, as I knew, my talents, skills and brain were being under utilized where I was. However, being hired again 7 years ago with an organization I had worked with off and on since I was 15 years old, posed a serious internal struggle for quite sometime. I began to see a life coach to help me navigate my work situation, it got to a point where I was gravely dispirited.  Communicating with her and witnessing other situations (at work) that presented themselves in ways that were blasphemous, it became clear that I had to make a move for myself, my family and my overall well being.  So, I began networking,  and took advantage of opportunities I knew would benefit me in the long run.

I meet with a fellow colleague, and I expressed that, my ultimate goal was to combine my undergraduate degree in Criminal Justice and my Master’s in library science degree. It was during this conversation, I learned about the National Institute of Corrections.  My colleague stated that she had a friend who worked there as a contractor,  and loved her job. She offered to introduce us over e-mail, after speaking with my new connection, I was intrigued by the organization,  I set-up an information interview (since I was unable to volunteer). During the interview I was able to ask questions, learn about what they do, get a feel for the work environment and what it means to be a contractor with the government. In that moment, I imagined myself working at this library. However, they had just hired someone, so I knew I had to be patient and hope that a position would come open. In the meantime, I pursued other learning opportunities, tried to remain as positive as I could in a negative situation and hoping that my vision I had for myself would eventually manifest into something significant.

Fast-forward, to a year later. I’m sitting at my desk contemplating applying for a position that would be a demotion, just to remove myself from an unhealthy environment. When I look back, I’m perplexed that I would even consider taking a step backward (always forward). But I believe when your back is against the wall,  you will consider crazy options. Right in that moment,  I received a message over LinkedIn from the Program Manager at the National Institute of Corrections.  Truth, my heart skipped beat,  he stated, that an Information Specialist would be opening up soon and he would send me the link once the job posted. I applied before the week ended and received a call from him the day after I had applied to set-up an interview, for that following Tuesday.  Walking into the interview, I felt anxiety and a sense of calm. The fact that I had met with most of the staff previously, allowed me to be fierce, but humble. Needless to say, I was offered the job that Thursday and excepted the offer within a couple of hours.

In the end, it all finally made sense that I had been placing the puzzle pieces where they needed to go, to accomplish this goal I had set for myself. I believe that this manifestation all started with creating a vision board, and putting out into the universe what I wanted for myself. Looking at my vision board now, what I wanted came full circle.  Putting your goals out there is a powerful thing and you just never know what the outcome will be.  As we start a New Year, I recommend putting your goals and dreams out into the universe and see what happens. With that said,  putting it out there is only the first step, you must have, ambition, believe in yourself and be willing to take risks that others will shy away from.

*Below I have added some photos of my current work situation and a photo of my vision board. My apologies for the poor quality, but I deleted the original.*

The vision board that started it all! (Sorry for the poor quality)
My office @ NIC

Happy New Year: Bring on 2018

Written by beautifulbella10 on . Posted in Best Life, Inspiration.

As 2017 comes to a close, I want to share and talk a little bit about an article I read, titled ” 8 Things to Leave Behind in 2017 (So You Can Have the Best 2018 Ever)  Of course this article laid out things that seem presumptuous in creating more peace for ourselves,  but for some reason having them broken down simply, struck a cord with me. Before reading this article, all eight of these things discused, had already made my to-do list for the New Year.  However, the one thing that spoke to me the most was…stop comparing ourselves to other people on social media. I think as humans, it is natural to compare ourselves to others on social media and this has to stop!  One thing I have learned, is that, we never see or hear the back story of a post or know the true situation. I think in order for the comparing to stop, we must take our time away from swimming in the social media pool.  In 2018, this is just one of the many things I’m choosing to do less, as I think taking a step back from social media and not comparing yourself to others is good food for the soul.  I believe it allows more time and energy for self-reflection, time with loved ones and to simply Let it Be.

In addition, I came across an article, that spoke about the specific zodiac signs (yes, I’m a hippie and believe in zodiac signs) and what we should be focusing on in the New Year. The article stated that for a person who is an Aries, we should start focusing on the relationships in our lives that have deep meaning and less time on the ones that are surface. Again, this struck me as something I need to pay attention to. In the past, I have focused on relationships that I have not always served me well. I have sought for friendships that I felt like I needed or wanted for various reasons. However, I have been in situations this past year, that have made me realize, (Aha moments) I may not fit into every situation or make friends with everyone and, it is OKAY, the world will not come to end if I don’t always vibe with someone. With that said, I have made it a goal in 2018 to focus on those relationships in the New Year, that truly breathe life into me and vice versa. I believe that it is our responsibilty as human beings to live our best life, love deeply, do what makes our souls feel joyous and live without regret! My goal is to make 2018, one of the best years yet, as I truly want to breathe life into myself, spiritually, physically, mentally, and put more energy into my career path and family. In doing this, I have realized that the burdens that took over my mind in 2017 no longer have a place to rest, I’m washing them away to begin anew.

If you have get a moment, please check out the articles I have linked above and let me know if these ideals and thoughts hit home with you, or even share some of your goals and what you want to be different in 2018, that you may have struggled with in 2017.

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right” – Oprah Winfrey

Happy New Year!!!

P.S. Take advantage of the first supermoon of 2018 🙂

Love YOU

Written by beautifulbella10 on . Posted in Inspiration, Wellness. 4 Comments

“I am imperfect and yet my imperfections, like any great work of art, are what makes me a masterpiece”. -Kelsey Silver

For as long as I can remember, I have had this love/hate relationship with my body. When I was in middle school the struggle was,  itching to go through puberty and fill out, as I was a skinny Minnie for a few years. Once I started filling out a little, needless to say, I was pleased. Once I got to high school,  I actually embraced my petite, thick frame and so did the fellas and if I’m being honest, it helped that the opposite sex found me appealing as well. As much as we women try to not allow men’s opinions of how we look interfere, it does. I think that is human nature to want to be found attractive by other people especially the opposite sex. However, the older I get it has become more clear to me that what should really matter, especially for us women, is the importance of us having a healthy relationship with our bodies. Unfortunately, this is not an easy task, at least not for most of us. More power to you women who are content with your body and do not give a damn. My goal is to be like you….someday.

Sadly, societies unrealistic and fake ideals of how we women should look, do not help this task become any easier. It seems like for us women no matter what we do, someone will always have something to say about how we look: too skinny, too fat, too tall, too short, and the list goes on.  When we start to embrace our beauty and who we are, I believe we become more empowered. Trying to live up to these unrealistic ideals of what someone else thinks we should look like,  is a waste of time and energy we could use elsewhere.  I recently, read an article about the actress Gabby Sidibe and she talks about being ridiculed for loosing too much weight. Really? She looses weight and she looses too much, but she was also too fat…..see what I’m getting at? We can’t fucking win.  It has been stories like these along with others that have made me take a step back and reevaluate the relationship I have with my body.

As I have grown older, birthing two beautiful babies and three major abdominal surgeries and sometimes not the best choices of food (life is too short..eat the cake or have the glass of wine, in moderation) my body is certainly not what it used to be. I struggle everyday to make the right food choices and make sure I get some type of exercise, that is why, I decided to join Weight Watchers, I wanted to change my eating and be more mindful of what and how much goes in my body. What I like about this program, is that I’m not starving myself….if you have seen me hungry that shit is not good for anybody, so mamas gotta eat.  By doing this program and adding an exercise regime (thanks to my life coach) to my schedule I’m slowly starting to have a better relationship with my body. In the more recent years I have struggled with self acceptance. Funny enough, I think I have struggled more with this now, than when I was in middle and high school. It seemed back then, I didn’t have the self-doubt that I have now.

 As of recent I put too much energy in trying to live up to a standard that was not meant  for me.  I became too wrapped up in wanting to look like someone else or wishing that my body was different.  We were all created different for a reason, how boring would it be if all looked the same and strived to look like the next girl. Booorring. Trust me ladies, I know it is hard to not get caught up in the beauty and weight rat race, but it is much better for our mental state to just be as healthy as we can and embrace what God gave us, there is a reason he made us all different shapes, sizes, and shades and we are ALL BEAUTIFUL.

Model Ashley Graham and actress Dacha Polanco (who plays; Dayanara Diaz on Orange is the New Black) have been true inspirations for me starting embrace my changed body and they way I view my beauty.  Deciding to follow these two women on Instagram has been one of the best things I could have done to boost my confidence.  Ashley Graham, #slays all the time. Her confidence, style and presence have showed me that we can all be beautiful and not be a size 2. Dacha always posts these beautiful photos of her embracing who she is, I find this kind of confidence a breath of fresh air and contagious.

The moral of this story is, love you and all of you, mind, body & soul. Do things that make you feel good, do things that make you feel pretty, sexy,  and work on being the healthiest version of you and everything else will fall into place.

Please join the conversation ladies or even men. Let me know in the comments your views/struggles with you loving your body or anything else you want to share!

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